I Want to Be Evil
Eartha Kitt
selected lyrics

I’ve posed for pictures with Iv’ry Soap,
I’ve petted stray dogs, and shied clear of dope
My smile is brilliant, my glance is tender
But I’m noted most for my unspoiled gender
I’ve been made Miss Reingold, though I never touch beer,
And I’m the person to whom they say, “Your sweet, My Dear.”
The only etchings I’ve seen have been behind glass,
And the closest I’ve been to a bar, is at ballet class.

Prim and proper, the girl who’s never been cased,
I’m tired of being pure and not chased.
Like something that seeks it’s level
I wanna go to the devil.
…
I want to wake up in the morning
with that dark brown taste
I want to see some dissipation in my face
I wanna be evil, I wanna be mad
But more that that I wanna be bad

Everything & Anything

Brown skin people and dark skin people always have something to say about light skin people. Like I don’t wake up everyone morning knowing I’m light skin. Like somehow I forgot. Like somehow I don’t know that in the winter I get paler with every snow fall. Like I don’t know that I’ll never get as dark as you even if I lay in the sun everyday.

They say, “black is beautiful” but they keep riding me like I’m not a part of that movement. Like I should find a way to do more than I can about it. Like somehow I asked to be two shades from a white girl, sorry, make that one shade.

But fuck it, let ‘em point it out. Because when it comes down to it I’m not going to change and I’ll probably have kids that look just like me. So when you see him or her playing in the school yard with your kids feel free to crack another joke because he or she will be ready for all the dumb shit you have to say. Because we all know you will still think your jokes haven’t gotten as old as your wrinkly as has.

Peace.

Everything & Anything

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s need, but not every man’s greed.” - Mahatma Gandhi

Essentially Gandhi was talking about our desire to “keep up with The Joneses”. Some people are just never satisfied, and this is the society we live in. Too many people are looking at what everyone has and comparing themselves to those people. I can tell you right now that that is the most crowded, and shortest road leading to dissatisfaction.

No matter how much stuff you accummulate it’s never going to be better than what you had before. Ever. Because stuff will always be stuff, and the more stuff you try to get the more you’re just going through life living up to a standard of living that doesn’t exist. You may think it does because all the glittery and expensive things you have say so, but chances are you passed the bar you set along time ago. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against people wanting more for themselves, but once you’ve started to compare yourself to others and you’re using them as a measure for your success you’ll never be successful. Ever.

People say, “money is the root of all evil,” and I disagree, because money is just money. Its a piece of paper with lettering and numbers on it. WE are the root of all evil. The values we attach to money is what leads to greed. We dictate how we feel about it, and so that is what money becomes.

“Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.” - Christopher Lasch

I am not naive. I know we live in a materialistic world where the “haves” rule, and the “have-nots” get schooled. And of course money makes the world go round simply because we need it to survive. Gone are the days when we can plant some crops and herd some cattle to take care of our basic needs, so I understand the importance of money to our survival. I also know that everyone’s definintion of progression and their ways of achieving happiness is different. Still, using another person’s life as a mirror for your own greatness is an attempt that will fail everytime because you will never see yourself clearly. You will continue to consume everything you don’t need. You will never be pleased, and that I know for sure will always keep you envious.

In the end you are your own person, so set your own goals. Know what’s best for you. I believe that if you just do what makes you happy and for the right reasons you will be happy, forever.

So those are my thoughts that were sparked by a conversation I just had. Let me know what you think, good or bad.
Peace.

Everything & Anything

The saying goes, one person’s trash is another person’s treasure. Fair enough. Some relationships fall apart or weren’t much to write home about in the first place so although each person in the relationship may feel like the other one is worn out and used goods, that person might be the breath of fresh air another person has been looking for. I mean a lot of people only become great in a relationship because they’ve had practice and eventually learn to understand the do’s and don’ts of commitment.

So where am I going with this? Exactly wherever it has taken you to. Truthfully I just found this in one of notebooks I was going through. I have so many laying around that are mostly from my school daze and I can always find things written down here and there. So this is really where this comes from. Its over a year old but its still relevant. Take it for what it is, or isn’t.

Peace.

Notebook Findings

Sometimes we do things knowing full and well what the outcome will be. We know the kind of reaction our actions will create. We are fully aware of the impact of our decisions make no matter how we try to justify it. But still, we can’t help enjoying the moments before it all comes crashing down.

Afterwards, when the dust has settled and the hole is revealed people ask us, how could you do such a thing? How could you be so hurtful? And while we fumble around for an answer that might redeem us a little bit, if only in their eyes, the most defiant voice in our head is shouting, “Because I wanted to!”

And because we know anyone residing outside of our brain may never understand our actions we refrain from our true answer and dismiss what happened as an anomaly, a chance happening, cleverly disguising it as being so far out of our control that we “can’t believe it happened” either.

This is what we do when gravity has pulled us towards things at the most untimely moments.

So what should we do, enjoy the ride or pull the ‘chute?

Everything & Anything

I was browsing through You Tube some time ago for gawd only knows what now, but just before I started searching for what I wanted one of the videos in the featured videos section caught my eye. The man in the still shot was wearing the mask from the movie V for Vendetta and a grey zip up hoody. Had I never scene the movie I wouldn’t have thought anything of it but because I remember the movie being really good I clicked on the video. Shortly after I was led to the channel called MadV and came across some interesting videos. The one that I’m posting below really got me. It was so simple and plain and the accompanying soundtrack went well with what’s going on in the video.

The messages in the video are an inspiration for humility and compassion, they’re a portrayal of honest feelings and it really just points out how affective a few words no longer than the length of one palm can be. I really enjoyed watching and I think you might too.

Enjoy!
Peace.

We’re all in this together

Everything & Anything

…not cool enough for you but is really cool with that, so just cool on the attitude. When you’re done making stank faces and giving fake embraces you can find me over there writing the cool off your face.

That’s my word.
Peace.

Is it too soon to be reposting my own stuff? Naw, never! When something is good it never gets old. The above statement is a repost of my own words that is almost a year old. I still get chills over ill ish I did even if its just a random (but true) thought I had one predictable day.

Everything & Anything, Poetry

I should have blogged this as soon as it happened, but ahhh I didn’t.

I went to the Jay-Z concert in London on the 29th (of October). I really really wanted to go when he was in Toronto on the 31st but I had a la familia birthday party to go to and it was a must attend sort of deal so there was no way around it. Fair enough,  I had seen Jay before when he came with Mary J. Blige so it’s not like I was completely missing out BUT the only difference was this time I knew Drake would touch the stage. It’s Toronto so he had to, I don’t see why he wouldn’t anddd because Jay supports his music. I missed out on the other concerts Drake had (womp womp) so I really wanted to take this one in because it was sure to be legendary.

Anyhow, I ended up having an amazing time at the London concert. I sang along and danced to my heart’s content. There’s just something about a Jay concert that you can’t duplicate. The vibe is through the roof, the music is phenomenal and since it’s just him on stage the whole experince is oddly intimate. The crowd hangs on his ever word, hand gesture and verse. Even when he’s not rapping and just stands there the crowd starts chanting, “Hova, Hova, Hova…” until he continues. Track after track we went insane beause the genious emitting from the mic was epic.

MTV had aired a US performance a couple weeks before the concert so I already knew at the end he would shout out people in the crowd. I was in the second row from the stage so I knew there was a good chance he would see me. I tried to contain my excitement for that possibility. I felt very sure it would happen but still didn’t prepare myself if did. I guess I just assumed he would simply point me out and keep it moving if anything. Well he did a little more than that it was one of the best experinces I’ve ever had!

This is how it went. I had my hands above my head clapping along with the biggest grin on my face. I was thinking “It’s gunna happen, it’s gunna happen,” and just as I was thinking that we locked eyes. Yes, locked eyes. And he said,

“I see you girl in the striped shirt!”

And then he pointed to me and asked me a question and then pointed to my fiance. I had no idea, and still don’t, what he said specifically. We think he said something about me being with him (my fiance) and either commenting on him being lucky or me making him look good. Either way my smile got even bigger. All I could do was say “Yes!” LMAO with my hands still in the air clapping regardless of what he asked me. He could have asked if I bit my toenails and I would have still been excited. Ok, that’s a little far fetched but you get the picture. It was an amazing moment. AMAZINKKK!

For the rest of the night we struggled to replay the moment and figure out the question. Till this day we still don’t know what he said but we’re confident it was something really good. All the way home I was still freaking out in the car saying crazy stuff like, “Jay-Z talked to us!! We had a conversation!! He might actually remember my face if I see him again. I wish I knew what he said, if we meet again I’ll ask him.” Of course I was in over-exaggeraiton mode but it’s JAY-Z, if you’re not on a high off something like that then you’re…a loser. 

Every time I think about what went down that night I get excited all over again. London did us well and I will see him again the next time he tours.

I LOVE Jay-Z. 

Everything & Anything

Today a bird shit on my head.

It’s okay to laugh. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

I chuckled to myself when it happened too, oddly enough. I always try to avoid birds so that doesn’t happen to me (at least in a public setting) but I forgot my rule of thumb today. Thankfully it wasn’t a huge glob and it landed on the end of my bangs (which were curly today) so wiping it out wasn’t that bad. Some also landed on my sunglasses which were there to save my face from potential contact. Now THAT would have pissed me off. It’s one thing for a bird to drop a load on you, but another thing for it to land anywhere on your face. How do you come back from that? lol

I told a friend what had happened and like everyone usually does she said, “It’s good luck, something good is going to happen to you soon.” So of course I said, “lol, that’s just what people say to make you feel better about being shitted on!”

So like most things I overthought (word?) about what she said and I wondered how I would know when that “good thing” had happened? Because don’t good things happen all the time? How do I know if that good thing that happened (whatever it is) is because of the bird doodoo?

I’ve realized that that saying is just as shitty as the situation. There’s no “good thing” that’s about to happen as a direct result of the fly-by-pooping. “Good things” are whatever I want them to be and like I’ve said before; this life has nothing to do with luck.

So good duck(ing) to you.

Everything & Anything

Be soft, not rude.
Be flirty, but not whore-ish.
Be strong, but accommodating.
Be a freak, but only for him.
Be safe, but know when you should have known.

I don’t know if its my feminist radar or just good timing and coincidence but lately I’ve been hearing people talk heavily about “types of women” to date, and “types of women” that exist in the world. So like any bullshit I hear I haven’t been taking any of it as fact.

I would just like to get one thing clear; women are not beings that can be categorized away in a filing cabinet. We are everything and anything you do and don’t want. Many of us contain all the qualities that seem to be very contradictory. For example, just because one women comes off as smart doesn’t mean she can’t or won’t make dumb decisions. Or just because one woman is loud and aggressive doesn’t mean she doesn’t know how to show and respond to love and affection.

Its completely bewildering to me that people think each woman is a type, and fits neatly into whatever category we or you put us in. Its an impossible role to fulfill if you think about it because it eliminates our ability to just be ourselves without having to worry so heavily about our presentation to the judgmental eyes of world. Basically, its exhausting.

Ahhh, what more can I say.

Take care people.

P.S.: The video above just reiterates the idea of false perceptions of “real” women and is an example of the contributions the media has made to type casting women.

Everything & Anything