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Archive for June, 2008

Riding Dirty

June 25th, 2008

I woke up to Breakfast Television on CP24 this past Monday morning as I do everyday. I enjoy this time before I leave the house to get to school/work. All at once I’m hit with traffic reports, weather reports, and any events going on in the city in the morning. It has become a comforting part of my morning routine. My TV is even programmed to shut off right at 8 am when I’m supposed to be out the door. If I wake up on time I get to hear Deana and Kevin play out the quirky relationship that they have, which beats the loud buzzing my alarm clock gives off if CP24 hasn’t done its job in keeping me up. 

This Monday morning was a little different than all the other days though. I usually leave my house by 8 am before the nightly is being reported, but today I slept longer than usual. I guess I was supposed to do that on this day.

The news anchor, which is just the messenger really, proceeded to describe the events of two males (Oliver Martin and Dylan Ellis) that were shot to death on Richmond St (not in the entertainment district) on June 13th at 12:00 am. Another death on another T.Dot corner I thought.

While I have not misplaced my feelings of sympathy for the families, and I can’t even imagine what the parents must be feeling like, still my mood immediately switched when the wrap up of the evidence was given. I became annoyed, hurt and pissed off. Two things that the reporter matter-of-factly highlighted stuck out in my mind. One being that the victims were innocent and therefore the motive(s) were unknown. In other words, it wasn’t gang related.

SIDENOTE: I learned that if you read between the lines you have a better chance of getting the whole story.

At this point I was only hearing the “news”, not watching it. So when I turned to look at the victims I understood why that conclusion was drawn regardless of what a “thorough” investigation had to say. Martin and Ellis were from the right side of town.

After the reporter continued to stress that there were no known suspects and no evidence leading to one she did make it our business to know some very grounding breaking information. Even though Toronto police have no idea who the shooter is witnesses do recall seeing a black man flee the scene on a mountain bike. This is where my second beef comes in. I stopped getting ready and considered myself late at this point. I looked at the screen, and reality sank in as the mothers read pleas urging the killer to come forward at a press conference. The reality is…you can be doing anything anywhere, but if your pace is quicker than a walk near a shooting and you’re a black man; you’re a suspect.

You could be oblivious to the whole thing because all you could hear was the music bumpin’ through your iPod and it was only the oncoming traffic that made you switch gears. Don’t pedal too fast boy, you’re a suspect.

I watched the mothers cry, like any mother should over their lost souls, and I felt for them. But the pain I felt for my own people clouded my vision. All I could see was the extinction rates going up. Black men and women are running scarce. No green peace organization could ever hope to replenish the drought. Then I thought about the voices I was hearing and the ones I never heard. I tried to dig deep in my memory for a time black mothers stood behind a podium with a dozen reporters ready to hear their cries. No instance came to mind. Where is their opportunity? How come the whole GTA was not put on pause to view a black mother’s anguish? I felt sad and neglected. The true feelings of my people’s marginalization began to festor. I could feel the edge of the cliff where black faces reside. The wind enticing me to take a step and fall back.

In two minutes all black men in the GTA had been put on alert. Don’t go bike riding. Don’t even admit to knowing how to ride one. Just like that everyone in Toronto was told, ‘look, another black boy has committed another selfish and heinous act’. What’s worse is the victims became the innocent and unprovoking kind (however valid), while black men were further sealed as the treacherous predators that walk around gun happy just itching for someone to shoot. Regardless of who the killer turns out to be, the picture has been painted and the story has been written. The plot thickens. True or false; presumptions have been affirmed way before possible has been made.

The anchor said a black man was seen fleeing the scene. So I looked ‘flee’ up in the dictionary to see if she was using it wrong. ‘Flee‘ means to run away, as from danger or pursuers. She had made a mistake. The way she used this term implyed much more than it meant. Can anybody ever dare to fathom the possibility that a black man on a bike may have been fleeing the scene because he heard shots and feared HIS life? No viable description, no step closer to a sketched out description. Just a flimsy attempt at throwing hope a grieving mothers way. If he was fleeing the scene he must have been involved. Black men don’t flee anything but responsibility right? That’s why no elaboration is necessary, we all knew what she meant, but how many Torontonians know the difference between guesstimations and facts? Not enough. 

My message to you: don’t let your black male friends ride bikes for the next month or so; they might fit the description. I can only pray the next black mother who loses a child due to an act of violence gets her time behind the podium and not just at the end of the driveway with her house clothes on. Just because we’re black doesn’t mean we’re used to, or okay with our people being shot down.

Holla if you hear me.

Everything & Anything

Untitled

June 17th, 2008

Consolidating time frames  
With pictures of me writing   
Showering you with mind numbing instances   
Of me infectiously reciting   
The last of a dying breed   
Lord hold me steady   
I’m trying to make it half full   
But the battle I’m slowly regretting  
Dissipating logic overrun by malicious tyrants  
Hoping to explode a little light on what’s already nighting   
Worn out obligations to a generation that is worthless   
Denying any chance of doing right by the birthless   
Blaming trespasses on those who came before   
Building perimeters around what is now yours   
Forgetting that your arrival was not on purpose   
Replacing the truthful stories with a strong lineage of white purses   
Hiroshima couldn’t clean out the thoughts of treason   
Bring back internment camps, gas chambers, and Jim Crow reason   
A fragmented ideal that came from one nation   
Touched a million lives   
Defined a me or you creation   
Insidious thoughts put down on LPs and CDs   
I call it Hip Hop   
We live slow and die free   
Tiny holes in the memory of a child left alone   
Creating the desire to look outside   
Refraining from what is condoned   
Internalizing notions of purity and power   
The end is drawing near   
Don’t let your sanity be devoured   
During the final hour we’ll all have our chance   
To be forgiven for the wrong doings   
Savour the last dance

That’s my word.
Peace.

Poetry

Fruition

June 17th, 2008

When I was hoping and wishing
it’d all come to fruition
You couldn’t see what you were missing
With no real idea
I’d say you were just fishing
but it’s my own thoughts
That have you trippin
Wanting to rewind my words
figure out whose givin
me the ideas to converse
on a level beyond your vision
really it’s just me
nothing ghost written
Did I mention the kids in the distance
who walk to school avoiding the cracks
Due to superstition
Were unaware of the tragedies done to them by the system
Oh damn here she go again with that same new flow again
Couldn’t she shut up for once and just keep sippin
At least then I wouldn’t have to hear about her one and only mission
To save the universe
put it all on her back
Walk the long road like a warrior
ok with what she’s risking
But I wanted more than that
so now I see who’s kissing
Everybody’s ass, fucking policies in and out
more like poli-dickin’
Can’t handle the heat
Then stay out the kitchen
Knowing somebody put you there
when you didn’t have a pot to piss in
Uh huh, yep ok, miss lady I hear you
And everything that you just said, yea I agree too
But you can’t change the past like the sky remains blue
But I’m putting this on blast
Back to my earlier description
I’m missing the warm days
When the clock keeps ticking
and the only thing on my mind
is this pen that keeps drippin
so I had to come back and restate my position
it ain’t a matter of fact
more like tru-dition
too bad I won’t put this on wax
as long as I make you listen
so I’m ok with typin through my mac
as long as you keep itchin
my words are like crack
every line is your fix and
They say it’s a man’s world but damn I’d give it all back
if we could start over and be on the same track
The same book, the same page
On the same level
No one above the other
Escaping all the pain and misery together
Enjoying all the success as two equals
And if I move ahead
it doesn’t mean I was moving my head in the break room people
Still asking me why I’m on this liberation ish?
Cuz we haven’t been liberated since Eve put Adam on that health tip
Don’t take this as preaching
cuz I’m better at practicing
Living my life by me
I’ll take affirmative action.

That’s my word.
Peace.

Poetry

Eff What You Thought

June 17th, 2008

I Wrote this a while back…

If coochie is lethal
Then dick is the assassin
Ready to run up on you
In an arrogant fashion
Ready to pull the trigger
On any girl that’s passing
Blastin’ then dashin’
A lady’s prized possession
He dipped in and out
And in one session
He left you with a token
of his ignorance to remember him
wasn’t his seed
was more like his disease
Conned you into thinking you wouldn’t be displeased
So freeze
Lady’s don’t sink to your knees
Brotha please
I don’t want your cheese
Just take it ease
I’ve got my own swiss
And I’ll buy my own whip
I ain’t dumb
Cuz yea I acquire my own chips
So know this
It ain’t zeros that I role with
More like Black Queens
who determine their own fate
and ain’t strung like crack fiends
So don’t tell me I carry money rolls
cuz I want too much
Just know that I can walk alone
Cuz I don’t flaunt too much
But you, you walk with many hoes
cuz your dick cums too much
Tryna brush me off
When really your bullshit stunk too much
And at the end of the day
I’ll have my way
Regardless if you’re still thinking I’m a bitch
Cuz I wouldn’t give you the time of day
But hey, I know who I am
And your attempt was wack
Your delivery is played
So homie get back
Luda said it right dammit
You don’t know me like that

That’s my word.

Peace.

Poetry

Dear Tyrone

June 16th, 2008

Woke up one morning
Jumped right outta bed
Couldn’t find any paper
So I wrote it on his forehead
Dear Tyrone, I’m done with all the fighting
Secret phone calls
Sick of you moonlighting
I’m over all the begging and pleading for you to change
Done trying to change you and have your thoughts rearranged
Dear Tyrone my time here is doneI’m ready to move on
Too many battles I haven’t won
I’m way passed tired
That feeling has subsided
I’m feeling more like humourous
Amused by my under wire
That’s digging me nowmore than you did me
Honey this is your wake up call
It’s a quarter past three
It’s time to open your eyes
You hit snooze already
One too many times on this relationship
Farther and farther we are getting
It’s not me it’s you
Who seems to have the problem
I ain’t Dr. Phil even though I tried to resolve them
Maybe one day you’ll learn I am your best
The better part of you
The one who has you blessed
But even if you don’t I won’t be around
With my bags packed and ready
I’m no longer holding you down.


That’s my word.
Peace.

Poetry

THIS Bus

June 16th, 2008

The last thing he wanted to do today was run for the bus
I mean he just got off working a double shift at Toys R Us
It’s not like he has never done it
U know, run for the bus before
But his kid is in the school play
With the biggest part
And he’s only in grade four
He promised he’d sit in the front row
And get there before the curtain was drawn
Even if it meant he’d be there with his work clothes on
He wouldn’t miss it for the world
A disposable camera and some gummy worms
He knew his son always liked those
So he ran hard for the bus
While people stared at his pace
Thinking to themselves
That he shouldn’t bother running
Another bus would come along and take this ones place
But he had made a promise to his son
A word he had to keep
Cause his daddy used to make them all the time
But his talk was very cheap
He wanted to set an example
And make his kid feel special
Didn’t want to disappoint his child
So he’d run for a million buses
If it meant his son wouldn’t wrestle
With the conflicting thoughts
That his daddy didn’t care
He wouldn’t make the same mistakes
And be a daddy who wasn’t there
So if you see a man running for the bus
And the bus driver doesn’t see
Make sure to hold a spot for him
So his child can be on stage happy
That his daddy was the best a daddy could be

That’s my word.
Peace.

Poetry