I’ve seen this movie a million times but each time it feels like the first time and I can’t help being glued to the tv. It’s your typical Romantic Comedy with more or less the same storyline; guy meets girl at the wrong time usually when one of them is taken. Instantly they’re crazy about each other but they try to fight their feelings at first. Eventually, one of them decides to walk away and just when the other is about to leave the country or marry someone else the other person tracks them down and pours their heart out in the rain/church/airport and all is well.

I always know how these stories will end yet the possibility of things not working out usually has me squirming in my seat saying, “Hurry she’s at the coffee shop in the train station waiting for you!!” Clearly the ending is pretty simplistic and idealistic but it never seems to get old.

The movie I’m talking about is The Wedding Planner. Please take a moment to join me in swooning for Matthew “the non-deodorant wearing” McConaughey.

For me this is one of those movies I’m excited to watch every time it comes on (thank you Peachtree), and while some of you wouldn’t consider me the “rainbows popping out of my eyes” type of girl a little mushiness lives in me and when sparked it’s truly a sight to see. I swear. Corny right? Perhaps.

Anyway, this time around I started wondering what kind of love is more likely to last longer? The kind that:

a. develops over time or
b. hits you like a ton of bricks causing you to show all your cards and throw away all your rules in a matter of weeks or days?

Maybe a third option, c. all of the above, is in order. Typically I would choose a. because I’ve always thought loving someone you want a future with is a gradual process. That’s not to say you’re not dangerously in love with that person but getting there was a journey rather than an “overnight sensation.” The assumption is you need time to learn about each other and your families/friends to truly be into that person.

In reality it seems like the logical route to go and although I’m familiar with the Rom-Com formula it made me reconsider my previous notions. Maybe falling in love never happens too quickly. Maybe if your heart just beats right with someone then that’s what it is. Maybe we’re more worried about what other people will say than what your entire body is saying. While passing by a conversation the other day I heard someone say, “falling in love fast is like drinking a slushie too fast because your brain freezes and then you can’t think.” Me being the rational practical type I automatically thought, “Well then don’t drink the damn thing so fast because that can’t be good.” But in all honesty Matt and JLo do make that “zero to 60” type of love look desirable and quite believable and it’s not like I wrote the rules to say otherwise anyway.

So the questions are;

When do you know love is real?
When do you know you’re in love with someone?
How much time needs to pass?
How much do you need to know about someone to legitimize your feelings?

I think we’re made to believe that falling in love quickly is a fairy tale. It looks so good on tv but it can’t possibly be for real because who would ever believe such a flowery existence? We seem to think the only kinds of relationships that last are the slow and steady ones. I know I’ve had that opinion, scoffing at people who find themselves ready to travel half way across the world just for one person existing in the billions of others. It seems quite frivolous right? Falling in love without knowing someone’s pet peeves, parents or spending habits. So what you both like Heinz ketchup? Can that really carry you past the honeymoon and to your kid’s soccer games? We tell ourselves to follow our hearts and go with what feels right but in the same breath caution the person who switches into sixth gear without getting a feel for one through five.

So after considering all the angles I’ve concluded that love is love and at some point in our lives we know what that giddy, butterflies in your stomach, tingly all over sensation feels like and who can put any kind of etiquette on that? I say love who you want how you want because if it feels good then it probably is. Although worrying about how much ability the person has to crush you since you’re so vulnerable is a very realistic fear I would think dancing in that “head over heals” feeling is something you shouldn’t deny yourself. Call me whimsical or whatever but if you and that someone end up married just send me the invite.

So that’s my take…what’s yours?

Everything & Anything