So finally, the moment many fans have been waiting for has arrived; singer/actor/writer/MEGA SUPER STAR AWESOME SAUCE Beyonce Knowles-Carter gave birth to her first child with husband and greatest rapper alive Jay-Z (my favourite alive!) on January 7, 2012. In the entertainment world this is old news even though their daughter, Blue Ivy Carter, is only five days old, but so far she is featured on her first song called “Glory” which Jay released the other day. Blue has now become the youngest person to make the Billboard charts and currently sits at No. 74 on the R&B/Hip Hop singles charts. We knew that she was coming into a powerful family but this is pretty crazy. This little girl doesn’t even know how huge she already is!

Apparently Jay chose ‘Blue’ because it’s his favourite colour (Blueprint, Yankees) and Bey chose Ivy because 4 (I-V which is 4 in Roman numerals ) is her favourite number (her bday, Jay’s bday, her latest album name).

While this historical moment is great for music I’m still in awe of all of this. Some people are wondering why everyone is making such a big deal out of this and have made comments like, “Who cares? Women have babies every day. It’s not that serious.” Whether these people actually believe their own words or not, it’s not that simple. As a huge fan of Jay and Bey I feel like this is monumental, not just because they’re having a child, but because of how they got to this point without any outside influence. From the beginning of their careers they have managed to keep their personal life private. In an industry where every move a celebrity makes has become increasingly accessible you would think they would fall “victim” to that same kind of exposure however it’s quite the opposite.

As awarded as their careers are Jay-Z and Beyonce have been able to keep their names out of the tabloids for one simple reason; they keep their business to themselves. If you’ve followed either of their careers you would know that both are very good at dodging personal questions during interviews without seeming rude and this just makes me love them more. I respect their determination to keep most of their relationship to themselves because the industry thrives on ripping people apart and over-analyzing every move. So I guess if you don’t give people anything to talk about they just have to guess, and it’s not as if that sort of attitude has hurt their career anyway.

Individually both have developed their name into a brand that holds a lot of weight. Jay is the top earner on Forbe’s Hip Hop Top Earners list with $250 million and Beyonce comes in with $289 million of her own.

Knowing all this makes me gush over this news even more! Yes, I get it, women give birth every day all over the world. It’s nothing new. But this is BEYONCE and JAY-Z!! I feel happy for them as if I know them, and as weird as that sounds I know I’m not the only one. Everyone has their things they get excited about and as foolish as this may seem I think this is pretty amazing that they’ve reached this step in their relationship. They’ve always been asked when they’ll have kids and have always managed to make it seem like those plans are in the far distance. Then when Bey proudly showed off her baby bump at last year’s VMA Awards (on my birthday August 28^th – woop!) everyone went nutso! And rightly so. It’s almost as if I expected her to somehow get pregnant and go unnoticed because she had already done such a good job at remaining private before.

So yes, this is nothing short of EPIC. And just when I thought I was coming down from my high Jay drops Glory and sends me spinning with admiration all over again! Who can deny how phenomenal this is when you hear Blue crying and cooing all throughout the track?? Not I. The song itself shows how much Jay is beaming with pride and love. I listened several times and tweeted about it furiously quoting lyrics and highlighting shocking moments where he reveals they had already been through a miscarriage.

I’m genuinely happy for them although they may never know this. I also hope Blue remains healthy and they get to experience all the joys and amazingness that comes with having a child. One day I’ll know what that feels like, but for now I’ll just let Jay tell it.

For a brilliantly thorough understanding of the song read Toure’s piece at TIME.com
Jay-Z’s ‘Glory’ for Blue: One of Hip-Hop’s Greatest Love Songs

Everything & Anything Beyonce, Blue Ivy Carter, Glory, Jay-Z

I usually assume no one will read this because our attention spans have diminished to such an all time low that 140 characters seems to be the max intake our brains can handle at a time, but I popped by anyway. If you’ve followed my blog long enough you will see I’ve posted a bunch of different things over time. All of which felt right at the time. I have no grandeur reason for this post today other then I feel like I’m letting my readers down.

I don’t tend to check Google Analytics, mostly out of fear that what little audience I did have has forgotten about me. I have no one to blame but myself although for that I really don’t feel pathetic about.  Maybe I should, but I don’t feel like I have the right to self-pity with this blog because the math is simple; if I don’t write anything then people have nothing to read and will stop visiting.

So why am I here now?

Why did I bother today?

I guess just to tell you I’m still here. My mind is still brimming with thoughts and ideas (same thing?) all or some that may be insanely mediocre, who knows really. But for now I’m just here to give you a head nod and keep it moving

Take care and have a good evening!

Everything & Anything

Women have been playing nice for a long time in hopes of keeping the peace but some of us are tired. The truth of the matter is it’s the bad bitches that are always winning anyway and anyone who doesn’t even want to consider this needs to take a second look. I see it all the time and one of the most recent examples to support my opinion is Rihanna. Recently I read an article in Cosmo magazine where she talked about why her attitude changed after the 2009 incident with Chris Brown. She said, “It was a very aggressive and defensive time, and that allowed me to start not giving a shit.”

If you’ve followed her music long enough you would notice the difference between her album Good Girl Gone Bad and Rated R that speaks to her comment above. What seemed like good timing for a follow up album to continue the theme of GGGB was also Rihanna’s way of claiming her life and not remaining victimized. It would have been easy for her to retreat and take on a “softer” way of dealing, but instead she went the opposite way. She created this vibe around her that appeared to say to her audience, “Fuck with me and I’ll cut your heart out.”  She stormed into that “bad bitch” role with ease and a lot of us ate it up because she was okay with that title if it meant she wouldn’t be taken advantage of. While there were many that hated on her for not crying during her interviews or sulking in shame a lot of us listened to that album and embraced her message.

One thing became clear; she was not to be messed with and the huge success following that time showed that attitude worked. Of course she’s not the first woman to give you the impression she’s not a toy to be played with and she definitely won’t be the last. With badass Nicki Minaj on the incline there’s destined to be more women strutting into the no-holds-barred club.

What I’m saying is sometimes you have to be a “bitch” to get things done and I’m guessing most successful women will tell you that too. While it’s a shame that a woman who exhibits the same characteristics as any male wanting to excel gets labelled as a power tripping biatch anyway, it’s that same woman who gets what she wants without having to settle for less. The idea that I will be looked at as a witch rather then a tactful go-getter is a huge double-standard. The best thing I can suggest is to take advantage of that disadvantage.

Women are often viewed as the “smile and nod” secretary (although we’ve made some huge gains in various careers) who only represent the decision makers and the people whose positions hold weight.

This type of view is not just in the career world but in our daily interactions. A good discussion on this began last week at Those Girls Are Wild. One of the co-founders, Shannon Boodram, brought up the issue of how women are supposed know when to be friendly to men and when not to. Some may think women should just be friendly to everyone but the opinions tended to go the other way.

A lot of women who responded agreed their smiles tend to be misinterpreted and taken advantage of. While a lot of us want to be nice to the men who stop to say hi because we’re just nice people, we find ourselves in awkward situations that have us thinking “shit I should have kept walking.” I think it’s safe to say we’d rather not cut our eye and turn away because it’s generally rude, however that attitude can help you to avoid those same awkward situations.

I mean why do I have to be nice to everyone? For the sake of my reputation? For the sake of your ego? Whose life am I here to live, yours or mine? I’m not suggesting we start walking around mean mugging but the women who carry themselves like they’re not here just to make everyone comfortable are the ones who make history.

The Madonnas and Lil Kims of the world have been able to prove that. In my family my mom is one of those women. When she speaks people listen and they don’t take advantage of her gender because she sets the expectation early. Anyone who has ever met her knows they cannot try anything slick because she’s the type of woman who knows the wrong things to say and will say them anyway. That’s not to say she’s cruel or cold hearted but her attitude clearly tells you she means business. What I have noticed is people often respect her a lot more and have a more straight up attitude towards her.

At the end of the day women want to be able to move through life exactly as they are without having to bend and fold as they shift settings. And don’t get me wrong, nice women are awesome but the ones that go the farthest usually put a chip on their shoulder more often then not. Fortunately for them, by the time their no-bullshit presence becomes clear society is usually forced to run with them unless they want to get run over.

I know the days of massaged egos are not over but I can see the shift continuing. Women live a complex life, one filled with tight ropes of varying lengths and tautness. We always have to be able to walk back and forth while making it look easy and without complaint, but again, some of use are tired. I believe we’re not abandoning our coy smile but some of us are saving those looks for special occasions. So since most of us came to win don’t be put off when you see the woman in the powered suit holding all her employees on a tight leash.

I’m sure we don’t run the world yet (sorry Beyonce), but when we do it will be amazing.

Take care and find peace.

Everything & Anything

I learned a good lesson today about sacrifice and I understand now more than ever that it’s never too late to relearn the things you thought you knew. It’s not easy to tell yourself no, to tell yourself you won’t buy something or eat out when the shoes you just passed look so sexy and that chocolate cake is to die for.

Everyday we get the chance to exercise our will power. Everyday we are confronted with what we’re willing to live with and give up. And although it may not be something huge like leasing a car so you won’t have to take the bus, we constantly make decisions that affect our future. While tomorrow is not guaranteed it would truly be foolish to live like you didn’t have to pay for yesterday’s mistakes because whether we like it or not money makes the world go round. I believe love keeps us sane while we’re spinning, but money will determine where you stand and there’s no way to avoid it.

So today I learned how to sacrifice. I learned how to see all the pieces of the puzzle for exactly what they are and decide what I was going to do about it and as sad as I am now I’m proud of what I did today. Surprisingly I’m also relatively happy about moving forward from this point. To say I was jumping for joy would be a lie, but knowing that I made a great decision is what I’ll hold onto.

I don’t know what to tell you to do to make living with your decisions easier, but perhaps knowing there are people around you doing the same helps.

Take care.

Everything & Anything

The conversation went something like this…

Kid (now a high school student): Sir, I want to play in the NBA as a two-guard.

Sir (used to teach and coach the Kid): Most two-guards are 6’4″ and up. You’re too short, plus you’re a little heavyset. You should stick with the point guard position, but sharpen your handle and your shot.

Kid: But the point guard doesn’t get to score as much.

Sir: No, not like the two-guard, but with your height it’s more realistic. If you want to do this you have to work hard though.This summer what are you doing? You need to get up and run every day. Build your strength, and endurance to cut down your size.

…A few weeks pass by and the kid comes back…

Kid: Sir these morning runs are killing me.

Sir: Do you want to be great?

Kid: Yea.

Sir: Well then keep running.

I heard this conversation the other day and although what I typed isn’t word for word it’s pretty close to what was actually said. The question “Sir” asked at the end really struck a cord with me because so often we tell ourselves and each other about the amazing goals we want to achieve and the awesome lives we want to live, but I’ve seen us (you and me) fall short quite a bit. I’ve been wondering if we really know how to get there. While we’re relatively young it’s easy to say “some day,” but as time passes “some day” becomes yesterday and today.

That one question, “Do you want to be great?” is a no-brainer to answer, but the actual attainment of greatness is not always the end result after we reply with a wholehearted yes. Who doesn’t want to be great at whatever they do? Have you ever heard someone say they’re happy and content with being average? If you know someone that thinks like this send them my way because I’d really like to know why.

We all know the saying, “Anything great takes hard work” (again I’m misquoting but you get the gist). It’s one we’ve heard many times, but like many quotes we retweet or put in our facebook statuses can we truly say we’re following it? I know some great people, not just nice, kind and loving, but people who are great at what they do. People who take action and make planned decisions in order to get the result they want. People I admire and look up to because of their discipline and patience.

Everyday society tells us to follow others, to do what others do, to not think for ourselves so we don’t break the mold and often this leads people away from their greatness. It leads us away from fulfilling our plan because we’re busy “keeping up with the Joneses” (they better be millionaires by now wherever they are). We avoid sacrifice and commitment in hopes that “some day” everything will work out anyway.

But in reality how many of us are really taking the right steps to greatness?
What did you do today that was done better than how you did it yesterday?

What I also learned from that conversation is that while dreaming in really important, setting realistic goals and meeting them is what makes your dreams not in vain. Ask yourself that one question as often as possible and follow up with, “What am I doing today to get there?” I think it’ll help to put the ‘yes’ in perspective.

It’s important for us to be honest with ourselves if with no one else. I know there’s areas of my life I’ve half-assed and while it’s not something I’m proud of I’m owning the responsibility. I want to be great. I need to be great. I don’t think I’m here to be any less.

After all, saying is to doing what theory is to practice. So with that being said, be great people and I’ll see you at the top!

Peace.

Everything & Anything

I’ve seen this movie a million times but each time it feels like the first time and I can’t help being glued to the tv. It’s your typical Romantic Comedy with more or less the same storyline; guy meets girl at the wrong time usually when one of them is taken. Instantly they’re crazy about each other but they try to fight their feelings at first. Eventually, one of them decides to walk away and just when the other is about to leave the country or marry someone else the other person tracks them down and pours their heart out in the rain/church/airport and all is well.

I always know how these stories will end yet the possibility of things not working out usually has me squirming in my seat saying, “Hurry she’s at the coffee shop in the train station waiting for you!!” Clearly the ending is pretty simplistic and idealistic but it never seems to get old.

The movie I’m talking about is The Wedding Planner. Please take a moment to join me in swooning for Matthew “the non-deodorant wearing” McConaughey.

For me this is one of those movies I’m excited to watch every time it comes on (thank you Peachtree), and while some of you wouldn’t consider me the “rainbows popping out of my eyes” type of girl a little mushiness lives in me and when sparked it’s truly a sight to see. I swear. Corny right? Perhaps.

Anyway, this time around I started wondering what kind of love is more likely to last longer? The kind that:

a. develops over time or
b. hits you like a ton of bricks causing you to show all your cards and throw away all your rules in a matter of weeks or days?

Maybe a third option, c. all of the above, is in order. Typically I would choose a. because I’ve always thought loving someone you want a future with is a gradual process. That’s not to say you’re not dangerously in love with that person but getting there was a journey rather than an “overnight sensation.” The assumption is you need time to learn about each other and your families/friends to truly be into that person.

In reality it seems like the logical route to go and although I’m familiar with the Rom-Com formula it made me reconsider my previous notions. Maybe falling in love never happens too quickly. Maybe if your heart just beats right with someone then that’s what it is. Maybe we’re more worried about what other people will say than what your entire body is saying. While passing by a conversation the other day I heard someone say, “falling in love fast is like drinking a slushie too fast because your brain freezes and then you can’t think.” Me being the rational practical type I automatically thought, “Well then don’t drink the damn thing so fast because that can’t be good.” But in all honesty Matt and JLo do make that “zero to 60” type of love look desirable and quite believable and it’s not like I wrote the rules to say otherwise anyway.

So the questions are;

When do you know love is real?
When do you know you’re in love with someone?
How much time needs to pass?
How much do you need to know about someone to legitimize your feelings?

I think we’re made to believe that falling in love quickly is a fairy tale. It looks so good on tv but it can’t possibly be for real because who would ever believe such a flowery existence? We seem to think the only kinds of relationships that last are the slow and steady ones. I know I’ve had that opinion, scoffing at people who find themselves ready to travel half way across the world just for one person existing in the billions of others. It seems quite frivolous right? Falling in love without knowing someone’s pet peeves, parents or spending habits. So what you both like Heinz ketchup? Can that really carry you past the honeymoon and to your kid’s soccer games? We tell ourselves to follow our hearts and go with what feels right but in the same breath caution the person who switches into sixth gear without getting a feel for one through five.

So after considering all the angles I’ve concluded that love is love and at some point in our lives we know what that giddy, butterflies in your stomach, tingly all over sensation feels like and who can put any kind of etiquette on that? I say love who you want how you want because if it feels good then it probably is. Although worrying about how much ability the person has to crush you since you’re so vulnerable is a very realistic fear I would think dancing in that “head over heals” feeling is something you shouldn’t deny yourself. Call me whimsical or whatever but if you and that someone end up married just send me the invite.

So that’s my take…what’s yours?

Everything & Anything

Yesterday I went to my hair dresser after having stayed away from her for almost a year. It wasn’t for any reason in particular but under the support of a good friend I had been going to another salon. I don’t visit the salon often anyway, it’s not a part of my routine so I was really just going for trims and treatments. But yesterday I went back to Faith. That’s the name of my hair dresser and her name isn’t the only reason I believe in her. Before I made my appointment I was debating back and forth as to whether or not I should, but knowing what I wanted to do with my hair I knew she would know me best.

So what have I decided to do to that called for a revisit to my foundation? Texturize. Yea I said it. I decided I wanted to texturize my hair again. As many of you know I used to relax my hair since I was about 12 and it wasn’t until my early to mid twenties I decided to grow it out. I couldn’t remember what my curls felt like so I wanted them back to see what they were like. Needless to say my hair has changed quite a bit since that first grow out. My curls aren’t tight like they used to be all over and for the last year or so I’ve really been trying to do everything I can make the insanely straight parts go curly again. I couldn’t understand why it was so hard because I wasn’t flat ironing my hair excessively nor was I colouring it more than I ever have before. Still for some reason my hair had a complete mind of its own. So much so that I wasn’t wearing it out anymore because the everyday hassle was exhausting. I was tired.

I thought endlessly about texturizing/relaxing it and I always felt this sense of guilt weighing on me. I felt like if I did that I was giving up, I was selling out. I stressed for months and months about what direction to go. I finally decided to let those feelings go and do what’s right for me. I know I’m still the same person and whatever people think about my decision isn’t anything I can control so it won’t make sense for me to take so much energy trying to justify myself. I’ve accepted the fact that my hair is different now for no other reason then it just is and no matter how much I’ve cut it to let it grow back curly it just won’t do that anymore, and I’m done trying to get it to do what I want.

What I’m focusing on now is having healthy hair and I guess that may sound like a contradiction to some because there’s chemicals in it but that’s where I stand. I’m going to work with what I have how I want to, and that’s reason enough.

I’m not going to give the “life is too short” schpeel because that’s not what this is about. For me, this is where I’m at, and I’m happy. In the end that’s all that matters right? Right.

Thanks for listening. Have a great weekend.

Peace.

Everything & Anything

I’ve never been one to wear much make-up. All of my friends know it. I’ve never been one to crave the spot light. I’ve never had the desire to be the one in front of the camera, ready for the flash as I move my body to find my angle. I’ve never been that girl. I take pride in how I look and how I present myself. I carry myself with dignity and poise, not because I’m conceited but because I love who I am and I care to show it.

I’m not needy, I’m not desperate for attention, and I don’t seek approval from others. Still, I like it when you tell me I’m beautiful, cute, pretty, sexy. Not because I need you to confirm that for me, but because I love to know that you noticed. That’s all. It shows me you’re paying attention to the time I’ve taken and the efforts I’ve made and you appreciate it.

I’m not sure entirely what other girls want and how they want it because I don’t believe every girl wants the same thing. We all have our preferences, our intricacies, things that make us tick.

I’m just saying this is what I like and what I want. That’s all.

Everything & Anything

…and it’s ok not to be ok. Let Jessie J tell it.

Peace.

Everything & Anything

I’m judging you. And you’re judge me.
No matter how much we say we won’t, it happens any way.
I judge the way you treat me and the way you act around others.
I judge the way you treat yourself.
I do it without trying.
You can see it when I say, “you’re so thoughtful.”
I can see it when you tell me I’m so smart.
See.
We’re judging.
Without intending too.

It’s funny how we tell each other not to judge others because we have no “right” to. Yet all of our relationships, the ones we keep and the ones we let go of, came from a judgement call. We decided if someone was right or wrong for our lives based on what we saw and heard from that person. Possibly even from what we were told by other people. We use this line so easily as if it’s so simple not to do. As if we can look at a situation between two people in an unbiased way. As if we can listen to a conversation and not take sides. Every time we say, “fuck that bitch” or “damn that asshole” we’re making an opinion about that person. We can’t get away from it. As much as we try.

I guess I could say the only time it makes any sense is when we rush to form an opinion about someone or something without fully knowing everything. But can we ever know everything? We just know what we’re told and shown and even then it’s not always black and white.

So what now? Nothing.
I’ll go back to my high horse that I sit on.
And you’ll go back to your throne.
There we’ll both sit and cast stones.

Peace.

Everything & Anything